Big Loser!

This is a current picture of me. I still feel REALLY fat here...

Is that sad... or true? Hmmmmm...

I just watched "Biggest Loser, where are they now". I was so inspired! It also made me feel really good about where I am and how I am personally doing in my own goal of health and fitness. I love how Bob was saying that you just have to find the balance and keep it up. Also, how he talked about how everyone struggles.


As a woman who has had eating disorders in her past, and who does NOT have a healthy body image, I am really working hard right now just to have a positive self image. I am currently 2 lbs from my healthy body weight and at 5' 9 3/4" I am tall enough that it isn't always as obvious how much weight I really have to lose. I am extremely hard on myself - but seeing things like the show tonight show me how happy and confident people can be no matter what size they are! Watching former contestants run a 1/2 marathon was also so inspiring for me! I want to do that sooo bad, and am working towards that goal currently!


The really funny thing - I NEVER notice weight on other people. When friends and relatives say anything about weight they want/need to lose I never understand why - I always think they look great. Why I can't feel the same about myself, I don't know. But I am working towards that!


Also, Bob said to one of the former Biggest Loser winners that he had lost 200 lbs in the past - he obviously knew HOW to lose weight. I thought about that... I have lost 280 or so (about 70lbs per pregnancy - 4 times!). Obviously I know HOW to lose weight too. I don't know why I have been so much more stressed about it this time around, or why I haven't just trusted myself like I usually do. That is over. I am going to go back to doing what I always have and be confident in myself that the weight will come off (and be gone by the time my baby is 9 months old - it always has) and stay off!. I am committing to myself to stop stressing and just trust in myself and my body!

Hot Cocoa....

I am a self confessed hot cocoa fanatic. I LOVE the stuff. I am trying to be good though and the other day when the kids came in from the cold and wanted hot cocoa I thought of a better idea --- sweet milk. Who knows, this might be a regular in others houses but I have never heard of it before, I just threw a few things together that sounded yummy. (I have heard before of people warming milk but the thought of it always made me sick....)

Sweet Milk
Warm a mug or milk in the microwave 1 minute
add 1 tsp or so vanilla and 1-2 tsp agave nectar.
stir and enjoy.

We actually all really love it even though I can't stand milk normally!

I think I will go make some more right now!

My Breakfast

This has been my breakfast the past few weeks! *LOVE*

1/2 C Quinoa with Agave Nectar! So delish! I cook a big batch on Saturday morning and then put it in tupperware bowls to warm up individual portions every morning! So fast and easy! Gotta love that! My kids all love it too!

Goal modifications

You will notice I changed the weight loss goal on my ticker at the top of my blog. I decided that my goal was not a good one. It was actually underweight for my height. My new goal is still near the bottom of my healthy weight range and I feel a much better goal for me at this point. After I get there I may decide to lose more.... but the main goal I have is to be healthy and strong - and I feel that my new goal weight reflects that goal better.

A little spice

I have rediscovered a favorite treat from my youth! I always chewed on cinnamon sticks while I was watching movies or reading. I have read a lot recently about how good cinnamon is for you and when I saw these in my cupboard the other day I decided to see if I still liked them as much as I used to! I do - and the great part, my kids hate them! Which means I can leave them out and they won't get eaten (unlike my almonds).

Last night's dinner!

Here is another super yummy and healthy recipe for you! My family all loved it!
I personally love Spaghetti Squash, but sometimes the Hubby just needs real pasta. We went with Whole Wheat and the sauce was amazing! Hope you like it!

Another weigh in day.....

This morning was weigh in.... I think I might stop doing this at all, it is discouraging. I didn't lose any weigh again.... I have been good with my eating and exercise BUT I haven't done my Jillian Michaels DVD's in over a week. My right arm and hand have been hurting really bad and I have a lump on my hand that I think I need to get checked out. So, that being my only hand - I don't want to hurt it even more with overuse lifting weights till I get it checked out.
Meanwhile, remember how I said I wasn't going to run? I tried walking on the treadmill and just got too bored and even switching up inclines and stuff didn't feel I was getting enough of a workout. So I have been running a couple miles a day and I think I am going to keep going on my training for a 10K. I am actually going to do the 1/2 marathon training schedule, but I think I will only run a 10K. I am really slow - more of a jog than a run - and although I intend to up my speed slowly I am not sure my knees will be able to handle the 13 miles on pavement. I figure a 10K is a good start to see how I like racing! It should be fun, plus I think I will be able to convince my hubby to do that with me!
I think for Christmas I am going to ask Santa for the metabolism I had at 16;) That would be a great gift, don't you think?

Yummy Salads

Being a really busy Mom means that often my wants are out the window. I have been making an effort to try to keep myself healthy, even though it requires a bit of extra work and better planning. While my kids don't love all the super healthy food (though they are better than lots of kids) I do. I have started making a few healthy lunches for myself on Sat or Monday to last the week. That way - being healthy is easy! I make the kids a cheese crisp or a PB and J while I chow down on sweet potato's, veggies and tofu stir fry with brown rice, etc. The kids sometimes prefer to eat my food - which is just fine with me!
I have a couple new recipes to share with you - they are awesome!!!!
Black Bean and Quinoa Salad - My Mom saw this recipe at the hairdresser and tried to remember it. We aren't sure if it is complete, but what we have is great!
Heart Asian Salad - From Trainer Momma's Blog! Great!

Balance

I have been thinking a lot lately about balance in my life.... it is not there at the moment. I have been spending a LOT of time on exercise and health, cleaning and cooking. I haven't been spending as much time as I should/ would like to on spirituality, kids, and friends/family.

I read This Post by a dear friend of mine and it really struck a chord with me. I lost all my baby weight fairly quickly by just walking an hour or so a day with all the other kids. This time I upped the intensity and obssess over it all the time and I really think that might be part of my problem.

I have decided I am going to try that for a little while and see what happens. I will walk every day (no more running for a little while...) and then do a Jillian video every other day. That is more balanced, and with 4 little kids - spending the 3 hours a day I have been on exercise is not balanced.

I feel very good about this decision. In a way it felt at first like I was "giving up" but really I am not. I am accepting that it is going to take time to lose the weight, but I am going to do it! I was on the tons of exercise and eating perfectly hoping to lose the weight super fast... but it hasn't happened. I will continue to eat well and exercise, just not in the obsessive way I have been.

Wish me luck!

Tired

Ok - this is not going to be the most motivational post... I am so tired of trying to lose weight. I have lost 60+ pounds 4 times (with each baby) and I am really excited to be done. I am also pretty excited to have a little break and just let my body rest.
I have been eating ok but exercise has not been where it should be. We are heading to Utah for my husbands Grandmas funeral so my week is shuffled around and I am trying to figure out where to fit my health into it.
The good news is I have been drinking a gallon of water a day and I really can tell a difference. The first day it was hard, but now it just feels great! I have always had a hard time staying hydrated so this is really good for me! I guess if nothing else I will keep doing that, eating as good as I can, and getting a few walks in here and there!
It is funny because I lost the weight from all the kids pretty easily just walking. This time I upped my workouts big time trying to speed it up, and it seems to be having the opposite effect. Interesting.